We are the first generation of women who have had careers for most of our lives. We are entering a period of life that is virtually uncharted, a time in which we are free from social expectations and reduced family obligations, with the freedom, resources and desire to engage in new activities with meaning and purpose. It is not news that we will live longer and with generally better health than previous generations. Science and medical advances have extended our years. This will give us the opportunity to turn our dreams into realities, to consider options previously considered impractical, and prioritize how we want to spend our time. Now, it’s up to us to decide how to plan for our continued vitality. Most of us are uncertain about what we want from the next 20, 30 or even 40 years ahead of us. Although we may be clear that we don’t expect to follow in the steps of our parents and grandparents and retire, few of us have maps for how we want to proceed. Many of us in our middle years share in conversations with friends comments like the following:
I don’t want to retire, but I want to work less. I want something more meaningful than just playing golf and traveling. While these are fun, they are not enough. I want to make a difference in my community, in the world. What will I do with my time, if I quit work? Will I be satisfied? I want more leisure time, a more balanced life. I want to continue to learn and be challenged. I want to do those projects I’ve never had time to do. How can I stay vital and healthy? I don’t want to feel old!
These are all important questions and considerations. The unspoken question often underneath them is, “What am I feeling called to do?” We often don?t stop long enough to ask this question, let alone wait for the answer. Yet, if we want to find meaning and fulfillment in our later years and be in charge of our lives rather than having them run us on autopilot, it is important to take the time to explore these questions.
This phase of our life that we reach during mid-life, might be called the third act. Our first act revolved around our growing up years, which morphed into our second act of finding a partner, raising a family, and establishing a career. Yet, as we enter our third act, we are often now free from social expectations, we have reduced family obligations as our children have grown, we may be divorced or living alone, and we might have accumulated savings from years of hard work. What will we meaningfully do with our time? How can we shape the life we choose to live?
What Is Waiting in the Wings?
Preparing for your third act means first reviewing your second act and identifying what scripts or themes connect the stories in your work and career, your family, volunteer and social life. What scripts are assets that you can build upon? Which ones are liabilities that you need to adjust or learn to manage? In addition, reviewing your second act may bring back interests and passions from earlier years that you want to resurrect. With this review you can begin to explore the opportunities that are waiting for you in the wings and that you might want to bring onto center stage. In preparing for the rising curtain of your third act, we have found it helpful to raise questions about the various facets of our current lives,the emotional, physical, professional, personal and spiritual,to clarify for ourselves what is waiting in the wings for our third act. Below you will find some thoughts about each area and some questions to explore.
Emotional
Popular stereotypes would lead us to believe that most of us go through a mid-life crisis between 40 and 60 leading to unhappiness and depression. But researchers report that, far from being a time of turmoil, dissatisfaction, and dread of getting old, only a small percent (23%) of participants report having a midlife crisis.1 In many cases it had nothing to do with aging. Based on the results of this study, most people are entering their sixth or seventh decades with an increased feeling of well-being, equanimity and sense of control over many parts of their lives.
Questions to explore: What brings you joy, pleasure, and deep satisfaction? How can you express your appreciation for those pleasures? How can you continue to find those emotional rewards in the coming years?
Physical
We know that many of us have two, three, four or more decades of life remaining and that each generation is more active with more health and vitality than ever before. Yet we also may have neglected our fitness and gained some weight, and now find our cholesterol or blood pressure too high for good health.
Questions to explore: How is your current health and fitness? Do you need to take some action to lose weight, quit smoking, improve your diet or get more rest? What will it take to improve your health and fitness?
Professional
As we mentioned in the opening paragraph, we are a generation of women who have pursued careers for most of our lives. For many, those careers have brought achievements and the personal and financial rewards of success in our chosen fields. Such success has also often meant the stressful demands of long hours and hard work to meet unfair expectations or to challenge traditional stereotypes. Many of us are ready to slow down, to have more time for relaxation and to enjoy other interests. And we may not want to or financially be able to quit working. Others of us want to leave one career behind and launch a new and perhaps more entrepreneurial venture that we have always dreamed about. Others of us want to use our professional skills in ways that contribute and make a different to our community or to the world.
Questions to explore: Do you want or need to continue to work? Are you interested in launching something new? How much do you want to work? Do you want to use your skills, experience or your time as an activist or leader contributing to the solution of global issues or volunteering in your community?
Personal
Full time work and raising a family leaves little time for women to pursue hobbies, leisure time activities or make contributions as a volunteer. As our family obligations are reduced and we think of working only part-time or even leaving our work and careers, opportunities open up. We can pursue long-delayed dreams, complete neglected projects, learn to play the piano, speak Spanish, study history, or make a meaningful contribution to causes about which we are passionate.
Questions to explore: Do you have a passion to make a difference, to contribute to your community? Do you have dreams or projects you have longed to pursue? Do you have subjects you want to study or skills you want to learn?
Spiritual
The multi-tasking, over-scheduled life, cruising on auto-pilot, leaves little time to explore the questions of deeper meaning in our lives. When time does emerge, we are often at a loss, listlessly drifting from one thing to another, and feeling somehow empty of purpose, meaning and direction.
Questions to explore: Are you wondering if you will be satisfied, if you quit work and leave your career? Are you asking what you are called to do and what will provide meaning and purpose in this next phase of your life? Is your life fulfilled and guided by your spiritual beliefs?
Creating the vibrant, rewarding script for your third acts requires the review of the second act. It also requires intentional focus on how to bring these important qualities that bring satisfaction into our lives. Some of us can find that focus on our own. For others of us, we may need to combine the space for our reflective focus with an opportunity to explore our questions in dialogue with others and seek feedback and encouragement. We need to take the time and intention to implement our hopes, dreams, and goals to shape and create a vital, vibrant, and engaging script for our third act.
(Endnotes) 1- Study of nearly 8,000 Americans by the MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Successful Midlife Development. Quoted in a news article. Paper unknown
Posts Tagged ‘over’
The Third Act for Women Over 50: Preparing for Joy and Fulfillment in Midlife
Saturday, March 13th, 2010State Sued by San Francisco Over Health Insurance Discrimination
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010San Francisco has filed a lawsuit against the State of California over a law that allows health insurance companies to charge women higher premiums than men. Women pay as much as 39% more than men for the same coverage, and the law allows it. Insurance companies get away with it because they claim that women in their child bearing years use more health care than men.The practice is known as ‘gender rating’, and is much more common than many may think. There are 38 states that currently allow it and two more allow it with some restrictions. A spokesperson from the California insurance commissioner’s office stated that they must uphold the law until the legislature chooses to change the law as it stands.Health advocates for women point out that the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission doesn’t allow employers to charge women higher premiums based on gender alone. They say that if it is considered sex discrimination on the job, then the same rule should apply when women are seeking individual insurance.Dennis Herrera, San Francisco City Attorney stated that the unfair and inflated premiums imposed on women price them out of the health care market and they can’t afford health insurance. This is causing them to get their health care from city clinics and San Francisco General Hospital, causing an additional financial burden on the City.Herrera states that the real issue is that women who are being priced out of the ability to acquire private health insurance are being forced to turn to the public health care system which is already financially strained. The state legislature has introduced two bills (AB119 and SB 54) since December, which address the issue. Commissioner Herrera has said he will drop the suit if either bill passes and is signed into law.If you are one of the millions who don’t have health insurance, you know the challenge to find coverage can be difficult. The professionals at www.InsureLane.com can provide you with multiple free insurance quotes in a matter of minutes. Let them do the hard work for you.
Over 70% of Prostate Cancer is Diagnosed in Men Over 65 Years of Age
Saturday, February 27th, 2010Prostate cancer is one of the most common forms of cancer in men, and the most commonly diagnosed form of cancer in America, other than skin cancer. One out of every six American men will develop prostate cancer at some point in his life, and an American man is 33% more likely to get prostate cancer than an American woman is to get breast cancer.
The prostate is a male sexual reproductive organ, in front of the rectum, and just below the urinary bladder. A healthy prostate averages around 3 centimeters in diameter, and weighs around 20 grams. The prostate is responsible for producing and storing some of the fluids that comprise semen. Within the prostate are many little glands where this fluid production occurs. The cells in these glands, like most cells of the body, live for a while before dying and being replaced in an orderly fashion. Prostate cancer occurs when new cells are made in these glands in an abnormal fashion, growing out of control and forming a tumor. Tumors can either be benign, or malignant. A malignant tumor of the prostate gland is called prostate cancer.
Prostate cancer in itself is not fatal. The danger of prostate cancer is that the cancer cells may spread or ‘metastasize’ to other vital areas of the body. This is a danger of any kind of cancer, and occurs when cancer cells circulate through the body by way of blood or lymph. Common areas where the cancer cells may invade are bones, lungs, brain and lymph nodes, and cancers in these areas can be fatal.
Over 70% of prostate cancer is diagnosed in men over 65 years of age, and the majority of the other cases are found in men over 50, although it can sometimes occur in even very young men. Prostate cancer is normally a relatively slow growing cancer, especially in older men, and therefore many men with prostate cancer will end up dying from some other unrelated cause before the cancer causes any serious damage.
It is unclear as to what the causes behind prostate cancer are. It is known that the cells in the prostate glands operate under the control of male sex hormones, such as testosterone, and the development of cancer in the gland may be hormone related. There is also evidence to suggest that genetics and diet both play a part in the likelihood in developing the cancer.
In its early stages, prostate cancer often has no noticeable symptoms. It is therefore wise for any male over the age of 50 to regularly receive a prostate specific antigen (PSA) test, which can detect early stage forms of the cancer. If caught in the earlier stages, the chances of recovering from prostate cancer are very good with today’s available treatments.
Arrests on Capitol Hill over Single Payer Health Care Issue
Saturday, February 20th, 2010
On May 5, 2009, eight activists were arrested at a health care hearing of the Senate Finance Committee, in the Dirksen Office Building, Room 106. As soon as the Committee Chair, Sen. Max Baucus (D-MT), opened the proceedings, the activists began in turns to stand and to make comments, like: “Why isnt a single payer at the table?” They were immediately “escorted” out of the room by the Capitol Hill police and placed under arrest. The demonstrators’ press release underscored “how 22000 people die in the US every year due to a lack of health insurance.” This is seven times the number of victims that perished in the 9/11 tragedy. Dr. Margaret Flowers, one of the eight arrested, added in the press release: “Health insurance administrators are practicing medicine without a license. The result is the suffering and death of thousands of patients for the sake of private profit. The private insurance industry has a solid grip on patients, providers and legislators. It is time to stand up and declare that health care is a human right.” The activists are supporting HR 676 and S 703. For background and any updates, see: www.healthcare-now.org and http and md.pnhp.org and http and freshaircleanpolitics.net.